Astronomy - 0
by weasleyey
Summary: For ages, John has always wondered why Sherlock Holmes deleted all knowledge of the stars. With the arrival of a blue box in their sitting room, he might just have his answer.
1. An Experiment

**A/N:** **This'll be in drabble format, usually around 150 words or less.**

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"Sherlock!" John's voice rang out through the flat. "If this is another one of your experiments I want no part." Last time he'd been versing the frozen head in saliva production.

There, in the center of the little living room was the object in question. A big blue police box stood, sitting there looking brand new among the clutter of the room.

"Because I swear," He continued, not taking his eyes off of it as he set the groceries down in the kitchen. "I _will_ go right down and ask Mrs. Hudson to get it removed."

Wearing nothing but his bathrobe, and with shampoo still clinging to his hair, John's flatmate ran out of the bathroom, and stared at the thing in front of them.

For the first time in all his life, John Watson witnessed Sherlock Holmes bewildered. _"That's not one of my experiments."_


	2. Pull to Open

**A/N: Okay, so I lied, this one's like 212 words. I think I'm going to actually raise the word limit to 250 words. The next ones 186, so it shouldn't get that long. I hope you like this one though. Cheers, likewhat**

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"Alright Sherlock, you got me. Honestly, you really fooled me. Wow." John dead-panned, watching Sherlock continue his little act by standing still.

"I mean, a 1950's Police Box? What is that even supposed to do?" He asked him, getting a bit agitated now. "_'What's in the box John?'_ You'd ask me, and something would jump out and scare me? Just so that you can prove that you're _so_ much better than me." John kept going as he stepped toward the shockingly blue exterior of the box. He clasped his hand on the bigger of the two handles.

"No. No John don't. Sherlock's voice sounded strangled. "It's not mine." John just snorted, and pulled. The door didn't open. He checked the sign on the plate. It said PULL TO OPEN. So he pulled again. The door still didn't open. Getting rather frustrated, he placed a foot on the door and he yanked as hard as he could, before feeling the door start to cave inward. Startled, he stumbled back in surprise. He fell into Sherlock, who collapsed under the unexpected weight.

A man poked his head out and looked at the pair sprawled on the floor. "You know, you could have just knocked."


	3. Licked Fingers

**A/N: Hello folks! THis update means that |4| is finished. So once I have |5| that'll be up. **

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"Ick, it is dusty in here." The man had come completely out of the box now, and wiped a single finger on the box. Inspecting it, he licked the dusty finger. "Quite a lot to have accumulated in just an half an hour."

He finally directed his attention at the two on the floor. "Oi what're you doing still on the floor then? Get up!" He extended a hand toward John, and with surprising strength for one as skinny as him, heaved him up. Sherlock got up behind him, but John barely noticed as he drank the man in.

The man wore a brown striped suit, and terribly scuffed up blue sandshoes. His hair looked like it hadn't brushed for ages, and had been left to it's own devices for too long. However, John decided, it suited the man. Judging from the crinkles near his eyes he smiled a lot, and his lip twitched now as he watched John.

"Who are you?" Sherlock's voice rumbled beside him, and if John had bought his act he could probably have heard the gears turn in his head.

The man brushed the licked finger onto his trousers. "Name's the Doctor. You?"

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**Fun Fact: I was debating over the 10th Doctor and the 11th, but I guess David Tennant done me in.**

**Cheers, likewhat**


	4. Kidnapping

**A/N: Hello! Next week's spring break, so expect updates galore! I've been watching _Partners In Crime_ again, and all these 10th Doctor moments are coming back. Enjoy the chapter, likewhat**

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John ignored Sherlock's sharp intake of breath, and stared at the 'Doctor'. "Doctor _who_? And of what exactly, jumping out of boxes?" He spun to face his companion. "Sherlock Holmes why did you hire this man?"

"John I'm telling you _I did not_. I didn't hire him and I don't know who he is so for god's sake Jo-"

"Sherlock Holmes? Are you serious? That's actually hilarious." The man grinned at the two of them, apparently oblivious to their heated conflict. "I've got a five year old in here who says his name's Sherlock as well. Ah, I do love common names."

Sherlock looked terrified again, and John had to say that the look didn't suit him. All he could comprehend was that this strange Doctor man had a small child locked in that box.

"Open it." When met by two incredulous looks, he stepped towards the Doctor and cleared his throat. "Keeping a child in a small blue box sounds awfully like kidnapping to me. Now open the damn box before we call the police."

He looked scandalized. "_Kidnapping_? No really, you can't honestly- that's preposter-"

"Do what he said." Sherlock ordered him, and John was glad for the backup. He'd have to thank him later.

But all this resolve slipped away once the door was pushed open.


	5. Bigger on the Inside

**A/N: HAHA IT'S BEEN A WEEK. I apologize profusely I've lost track of time. Plus there's the fact that I've been away pretty much all week and I'm going to be in another state for the next three. But cheers, enjoy the reaction!**

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Sherlock froze, an incomprehensible expression on his face. John couldn't blame him. What was in front of him was an anomaly to beat them all.

He had expected the inside to look like the old movie he'd seen once. In his mind's eye, he pictured a small boy huddled up to one of the corners of the small box, the walls a shade darker than the outside. But now he had no doubt that Sherlock hadn't hired the man now.

Instead of what he pictured, in front of him was a huge room, bigger than their sitting room and definitely bigger than his imagination.

He gasped. "It's-"

The Doctor seemed to have recovered from his shock of being called a kidnapper. "-bigger on the inside? Oh I do love it when they say that."

"C-Can I go inside?" John reigned in that Gryffindor courage. The skinny man nodded, and John took a shaky step to the threshold.

"No don't. This seems way to familiar, something's wrong John." Sherlock's voice had an urgency in his voice that he had never heard before. But the Doctor snorted.

"Don't worry about him, the Tardis has that effect on people. Now, can I prove my innocence or are you going to make dramatics?"

John looked between the two before making a hasty decision.


	6. However Improbable

**A/N: 253 WORDS I'M SORRY! Thanks for all the reviews, all of you are awesome.**

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"No." He heard himself breathe out. It was impossible. The truth was finally _starting_ to sink in as John stepped in and took a proper look around.

He'd thad to take some sort of a physical science class to become a doctor after all, and this, this box thing, was breaking all the rules.

He promptly jumped out, realizing that the box was still well, a box. A wooden 1950's Police Box. He poked his head back in. But there was the impossible room!

"Oh this is my favorite part." He heard the Doctor say to Sherlock, who John paid no heed to in his hurry. He ran around the perimeter of the box, wedging himself in between it's wooden back and the desk. Reaching the front again, he stared incredulously at the skinny man, gasping.

"But- But that's not possible!" He got out. "It's a box!"

Before the Doctor could respond however, another popped up, one John had nearly forgotten was there.

"Once you've ruled out the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be true." Sherlock cracked his neck to one side before stepping forward.

"Great line mate." Sherlock ignored him .

"You're the cause of all that alien nonsense aren't you?"

The man grinned. "Yes, yes I am."

"The crimes around here recently?"

He let out a small laugh, and his hands plunged into their pockets. "I'd like to think so, yes."

"Good. Now take me to the child before I strangle you."


	7. Poked and Prodded

**A/N: Wow two in one day aren't delightful. Remember to review! Cheers, likewhat**

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Sherlock strided in, and John was afraid he'd seize up again. He himself had nearly did another perimeter round.

"Now stay here, and I'll bring in little Sherlock. _Don't touch anything_, alright?" The Doctor emphasized before giving the two a hard look. John watched as he backed out slowly, into what looked like a corridor.

Once he was out of sight, Sherlock turned to the controls. He poked and prodded buttons and levers, eyes flicking to the big green basin in the middle. It did not move.

"Sherlock!" John whispered, painfully aware of the echo it created against the walls. "_Sherlock_ we're not supposed to touch anything."

The curly man snorted. "Why, because we might jump through time? Yeah right. More like we'll discover his trick."

"I don't think it's a trick."

He snorted again. It was becoming a problem. "Course you don't. Now shut up, look there's hexagons." he taller man pointed at the shapes on the walls.

John stiffened. Just because he hadn't believed his theory, Sherlock didn't have to make the little digs whenever the shape was seen. John was just about to tell him off when the entire unit suddenly lurched violently, and he fell into Sherlock for the second time that day.


	8. Shudders

**A/N: I'd like to remind you all that all characters and show-based objects do _not_ belong to me, because then human history would not be how it is. I am a crap updater, so chapter 9 will be up as late as tomorrow.**

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John heard a loud exclamation followed by a running footsteps. No doubt the Doctor man knew what had just happened.

Meanwhile, the entire room was still shuddering, and Sherlock and John were clutching the control unit for dear life. A brilliant _whirring_ noise was echoing off the walls. John felt like yelling.

"Sherlock Holmes, what have you done!" Surprisingly he wasn't the only one with that idea, because the Doctor had arrived, the five year old clinging desperately to his hand. John could barely make the two out with all the shaking.

And then it stopped. They had landed, or so it seemed. The Doctor jumped up and tugged the screen toward him. A giant crack ran through the middle, providing for a black screen. The Doctor hit it a couple of times anyway, the word "_no_" repeating itself.

"I can't believe it! We've crashed! "The man ran a hand through his hair. "Oh... we could be anywhere! Anytime mind you, in any history, let alone human. Long as it's not a race that hates humans, seeing as I've got two, sorry, three on board. If it's a Draconian that'd be, well..."

As the Doctor babbled and looked tense, Sherlock's attention was drawn back to the contraption. To John's surprise, the small boy did the exact same on the other side.

"What's your name?" He asked kindly.

"William Holmes, sir. But I go by Sherlock." All three men went pale.


	9. Boy

**A/N: Mind you, Sherlock's still got shampoo in his hair. Cheers, likewhat**

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Surprisingly, it was John who spoke first. "But isn't that a paradox? In those books, th-those sci-fi books, the paradox would break a hole in space and time or something."

The Doctor swallowed. "Well, that's a bit dramatic, but the Tardis? She shouldn't be fine." Both their eyes returned to the five year old, who stared back curiously. John took the oppurtunity to study him.

He wore simple purple playclothes, with dirt clinging to his knees. Little William had dark brown hair, which was so frizzy that John knew that sticking a hand in it would get it stuck. The boy's eyes seemed old, older than him, and John got a sense of familiarity. And he knew from where.

"No!" The Doctor shouted suddenly, and made himself a barrier between William and Sherlock, who'd been reaching to touch his younger self. "Even if the paradox hasn't come into a full effect yet I highly doubt the Tardis'll be able to handle physical contact."

The bath-robed man huffed but pulled away. :Now what then? Did your mystical 'tardis' take us somewhere or are we still in my living room? And please give us a real explanation, not one that only John's stupid enough to believe." John stiffened again, but agreed. _Where were they?_

The Doctor huffed, and walked to the doors. John got the feeling that he was almost nervous. "Guess there's only one way to find out then." And the man threw open the doors.

It just so happened that seconds after he did so, another man would tumble in.


	10. Purple Man

**A/N: May means exams, slow updates, and I'm Sorry notes in the beginning of chapters. I'm sorry, but possible double update today so yay! Cheers, likewhat.**

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John had never seen a grown man cry. Not like this. The man on the floor was shaking with each sob, and a damp puddle seemed to collect on his clothes. Or what you could call them clothes. It looked like a dirty old oversized loincloth, and the green clashed with his skin tone. His _purple_ skin tone.

The Doctor looked at the man in the middle of the room, and tried mouthing something to John. John didn't understand, and was about to ask him to repeat when the purple man began to wail to himself.

"I'm a fool! What have I done?" The high voice exclaimed. "What was I thinking, conversing with a Draconian? What if Mother's punished?"He sobbed. Suddenly he stopped, as if just noticing he wasn't where he thought. He stood up abruptly.

"Uh, hello?" John was vaguely aware that he was talking to an alien, a _nonhuman_, yet he pushed it away. He swallowed. "Would you happen to know where we are exactly, we're a bit lost."

The purple man took a step back. "Human." He breathed. His gaze shifted to Sherlock and young William next to the controls. "_Humans_. Oh my, I must warn the others!"

But he couldn't, because the next thing John knew, the purple man's eyes were rolling back into his head, and he was slumping. The Doctor caught the man from behind, and lowered his body to the ground.


	11. Amethysts

**A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE REAL PERSON I'M STEALING THE CHARACTERS FROM, SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE! I felt like an update was in order to celebrate this beautiful, er, celebration. Plus, the suspense must be eating you. _With hot sauce_.**

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"An Amethyst." The Doctor made eye contact with John, as if he could see all the questions threatening to boil over. "From the planet called _Lassus_, and known throughout the universe as _excellent_ fainters."

"W-What?" John shook his head to clear it. "What'll happen to him when he wakes up?" He stammered and went to help pick up the other arm of the unconscious man, seeing the Doctor needed help.

"Hopefully he'll have forgotten us, dismissed us as a part of some silly pre-faint illusion."

"How long till he gets up?" Two voices asked, and both Sherlock's looked at each other, the same dumbfounded expression between them.

The Doctor ignored this, opting to continue answering questions. "Uh... About 4 minutes usually, mind you, last time I met an Amethyst was ages ago, their timing might've improved." He cleared his throat. "Now come on, we've got to get him as far away from the Tardis as we can."

The three men lugged the purple alien out of the still open blue doors and through another steel door, little William following closely behind. Once they passed through yet another door they dropped the body, and John took a look around.

"Meh, typical." The Doctor said nect to him, and even if it was his first encounter, John couldn't help but agree.

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**Bonus tidbit: _Lassus _is Latin for "exhausted". Fancy schmancy stuff.**


	12. New Areas

**Hey everyone. it's been a while, hasn't it? Good thing this is part one of a double update. Cheers, likewhat**

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They had stepped into a sort of court room, with a relatively high ceiling. It was a deep mustard yellow, and possibly the only part of the room that wasn't purple.

_Purple_. It's like the color itself vomited in here. Every shade was present. Lilac for instance. Now John felt like _he_ was going to vomit.

He turned to check the door they had just brought the body through. **_CUSTODY - IN_** **_WATING _**it read. John wondered absent-mindedly whether they had just released a guilty man from his cell. _Oh yeah, he was definitely going to vomit._

"Where are we Mr. Doctor?" A quiet voice asked from below. Young William had sat himself down on the purp- sorry the _Amethyst_. The intensity of his gaze surprised John.

The Doctor cleared his throat. "Another planet. And that Mr. Sherlock, is an unconscious man. An unconscious alien in fact. You'd better get up, he might wake up." The little boy seemed to scan him, as if looking for a lie. Apparently finding none, he stood up.

However this explanation might satisfy a five year old, it sure didn't satisfy John. In fact, John was just about to ask _what the hell was going on_ when another man burst in, wearing robes of, you guessed it, _purple._


	13. Aliens

**A/N: part 2 of double update complete. Sorry it took so long guys, schools ending. I'm getting back to it though, and #14 should be here in no time.**

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"Great, another body." Sherlock drawled as the purple robed manmade eye contact with them.

He was wrong however. This man did not behave like the former, and stayed stoic, not fainting at all. His form flickered a moment, and John blinked, convinced that he'd imagined it.

"Who are you?" The Amethyst suddenly thundered, his voice octaves away from the high pitch of the unconscious man at John's feet. "What is your purpose?"

_Now that's more like it._ The aliens were now acting, John could say, like aliens. More demanding things and less crying or fainting. Still, John supposed the Doctor could take this one.

The Doctor stepped forward. "Oh no no, don't mind us we're fine." He flashed a black wallet. "I'm the Doctor, these are my associates?" He motioned to all of them with one hand then ran it through his hair, the other plunging into his pant pocket.

"You are of humanish hue. You and your associates will be taken to be given proper profiling." John was now wishing for the crying and fainting again.

"Oh that? I'm trying a new face cream!" The Doctor spun to face the three, and mouthed something. As soon as his blue wand thing pointed to the door and made a whizzing unlock noise, John understood. _Run._

He hoisted William up and ran to the door, pushing it open to run down a long gold and silver corridor.


	14. Run For Your Life

**A/N: A long oone that just barely meets the limit? Only for you folks. Cheers, likewhattt. **

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John had never ran for his life with a child in his arms before. Actually, he hadn't ever really run for his life period. Baker Street seemed awfully leisurely compared to the day he'd been having.

It was exquisite however, running for his life. Hoping that somewhere in the tumble of footsteps behind them blue trainers and barefeet with remnants of soap were trailing. Sherlock was still in his bathrobe. John swore that if he got out of this alive he'd never let him live that one down.

A small hand slapped his face. "In there!" Little William kept slapping him, pointing to a door up ahead the corridor they were running down.

"But what if it's-" John started, but William slapped his cheek again, and he contemplated leaving the little bugger right there.

"It's unlocked. Now hurry!" Left with no other option, he gained on the door and flung it open for both of them to slip inside.

They hardly had to wait for the other two in their party came into sight. The Doctor spotted them first and jumped in, connecting the dots in seconds. Sherlock was two metres away, looking wildly for an escape.

John put his hand out and pulled on the nearest thing he could find, right when Sherlock was about to pass by.

He was whisked in, and John heard the whizzing lock of the door. He looked to see what he had pulled. It was the tie to Sherlock's bathrobe.


	15. Very Peaceful Indeed

**A/N: You lot better leave a review nw, I just barely hit the K+ rating back there. and this too, nearly surpassing the word limit? I'm becoming naughty. likewhattt**

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"Uh, mate." The Doctor shielded both his and William's. "You've got a bit of a..." He didn't go on, just gestured with his chin.

Sherlock looked around, puzzled. "What?" John let out an awkward cough. The next "What?" was at him. John didn't avert his eyes from the shampoo clinging to Sherlock's head. Only then did he realize that he was practically nude. "Oh."

John tried to change the subject, but inwardly gawked at the bored tone when he realized what it had been. "What was that back there?" He asked the Doctor. "I thought you said Amethysts only fainted."

The Doctor's hands were in his hair again, indicating that he was deep in thought. "I know, they are. Amethysts have the reputation as one of the most peaceful races in the universe."

"That didn't look peaceful to me." The Doctor regarded the young boy for a moment before looking away, shaking his head.

"Yes, exactly. It's weird." A tuft of hair popped out from under his hand, and he grabbed at it again. He was perfectly frustrated now. "And usually when they come into contact with humans, they're a bit nicer." Seeing their confused faces, he elaborated.

"You see, Amethysts have this system of hierarchy, a class system, which became severely altered once you lot burst into the picture. Basically-" He stopped abruptly, his hands freezing in their explaining position, at the knock of the door.


	16. Meet Byzantium

**A/N: I've been away on holiday for five days straight with no wifi. I am so sorry. So this is really just a filler whoops.**

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The Doctor's entire demeanor changed. Suddenly he was in front of the door, his blue wand thingy out and pointed at the door. He stood almost protectively, one arm barring both Sherlock and John away. "Stand back." He whispered to them.

To the door, he spoke remarkably calmly. "Who are you and what is your business?"

"I'm not armed. I mean," Frantic deep breaths were taken. "I mean no harm to any humans."

The Doctor's eyes shifted over the the three of them, landing on little William, who shrugged.

"I'm opening the door."

His blue thing pulsed, and the he twisted the handle. The knocker hurried inside and the Doctor shut the door behind them.

The person was familiar, and John saw Sherlock recognizing out of the corner of his eye. The squeaky voice alone should have clued him off. It was the unconscious Amethyst! _Except now he was perfectly_ _conscious_.

John instantly went to picking up William and getting ready to run but the little boy stopped him., pushing his arms away and looking expectantly to the purple man. Adult Sherlock was doing the same.

"Phew, think non-fainting thoughts, _non-fainting thoughts._" The man muttered to himself before giving them a nervous smile. "Hi! I'm Byzantium and I'm sorta kinda an Amethyst criminal!" He rushed.


End file.
